Crime Parody Fan Gifts

A couple of criminal pickles 'jar jack' a pickle jar.

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

CHANNEL THIRTEEN TAKES ON THE NETWORKS

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

'Not much cop are you!'

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

For the last time, officer, I'm absolutely, positively sure it was number four.

"I want to report a race crime.'

'I'm hoping to get into Crime Sprees.'

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

Decision on the flip of a coin...

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

'Okay, I'll give you the money, but this could negatively affect your credit rating.'

New York City, the Bronx, and another successful Vice Squad raid comes to wraps (real vices used for arresting criminals).

"Do you recognise the giraffe who hit you?"

Good Mop, Bad Mop.

The Codfather.

Louie 'The Egg' Spignoli, The Hangman's Nightmare

Therapy among thieves

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

'First off, your average Paolozzi has far fewer holes than your Moore.'

"Money or your beard!"

'He's working undercover to find out 'what up' with youth gangs.'

"Tommy, when ya gonna start doing your own laundry?"

'Police? I'm being stalked.'

'I want you to go give those Herrings a warning to stay off our turf... leave this packet of chips on their doorstep.'