Crime Parody Fans Gifts

Cat planning aquarium break in...

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

'Not much cop are you!'

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

'I'm hoping to get into Crime Sprees.'

"Honestly, guys, my check is in the mail."

'Sorry Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'

For the last time, officer, I'm absolutely, positively sure it was number four.

"I want to report a race crime.'

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

Decision on the flip of a coin...

'Okay, I'll give you the money, but this could negatively affect your credit rating.'

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

New York City, the Bronx, and another successful Vice Squad raid comes to wraps (real vices used for arresting criminals).

Good Mop, Bad Mop.

The Codfather.

"Do you recognise the giraffe who hit you?"

'First off, your average Paolozzi has far fewer holes than your Moore.'

Messing Up My Metrics

Louie 'The Egg' Spignoli, The Hangman's Nightmare

Therapy among thieves

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

"Money or your beard!"

'He's working undercover to find out 'what up' with youth gangs.'

'Police? I'm being stalked.'

'I want you to go give those Herrings a warning to stay off our turf... leave this packet of chips on their doorstep.'