Crime Comedy Enthusiasts Gifts

"I don't think we're supposed to taser people who park on double yellow lines."

'If you don't talk to me, Murdock, we'll turn you over to the social workers!'

'Your identity or your life!'

'The one in the middle is kind of cute!'

"Oh crap, I meant to hand her the stickup note first!"

"Well, if you find it more comfortable, just call it 'cat bath'."

"This program shows which ATMs we can get to, the next program estimates how much money is in each of them, and the last tells us how large a crowbar Bronco will need to get the money out."

'This is a money order. '

'I had untold wealth and then one day the tax inspectors called...'

"Honestly, guys, my check is in the mail."

"It's not the same. Why didn't you just bury him in concrete like I asked?"

"By the way, this guy behind me with his fist up my crack has nuthin' to do with this."

'Say fells,-you don't have it in BROWN do you?'

'Coco the klepto clown - come out, we know where you're hiding!'

Lineup

At the Ice Pick Test dept.

"A person of interest" --- Gee, that's the nicest thing anybody's ever said to me!

Messing Up My Metrics

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

'Not much cop are you!'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

"One crime on this island and everyone's a suspect!"

Police Lineup Escape

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'