Crime Parody Fans Pillows

Cat planning aquarium break in...

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

'Not much cop are you!'

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

"I want to report a race crime.'

"Honestly, guys, my check is in the mail."

'I'm hoping to get into Crime Sprees.'

'Sorry Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

Decision on the flip of a coin...

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

'Okay, I'll give you the money, but this could negatively affect your credit rating.'

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

Therapy among thieves

The Codfather.

"Do you recognise the giraffe who hit you?"

'First off, your average Paolozzi has far fewer holes than your Moore.'

New York City, the Bronx, and another successful Vice Squad raid comes to wraps (real vices used for arresting criminals).

Good Mop, Bad Mop.

'He's working undercover to find out 'what up' with youth gangs.'

"Tommy, when ya gonna start doing your own laundry?"

'Donut shop is down the hall to your right - and I'm not answering any more questions without my lawyer present.'

"When you're ready, please try to identify who it is that you think you saw in your home in the early hours of last Easter."