Crime Scene Parody Fans Pillows

'He put 'odor eaters' in his shoes this morning.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

CHANNEL THIRTEEN TAKES ON THE NETWORKS

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

'Looks like we've got ourselves another cow jacking.'

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

"What part of ‘secure the crime scene’ don’t you understand?!!"

"Honestly, guys, my check is in the mail."

Messing Up My Metrics

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

'First off, your average Paolozzi has far fewer holes than your Moore.'

"Money or your beard!"

Louie 'The Egg' Spignoli, The Hangman's Nightmare

"Forensics put time of death about 3 hours ago chief. . .they're certain it was a potato gun."

"When you're ready, please try to identify who it is that you think you saw in your home in the early hours of last Easter."

Oh, sorry, I didn

"Do you remember what you had for lunch last Thursday?"

"Are any of these the perpetrator?"

'BAD DOG!'

'Worst chainsaw massacre I've ever seen.'

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?' 'Why can't it be both?'

Heisenberg Witness Protection Program

'The fellow must have a pace maker because he collapsed when I fired the garage door opener at him.'

'The bailiffs took my car away yesterday, and I didn't even have a chance to siphon out the petrol.'

"Ooh, are those Reese's Pieces?"

"I've rented the extra room to an escaped convict - maybe you know him."

Police crime scene.

"Your new recruit's bicycle is ready, commander."

Cat planning aquarium break in...

"Well, if you find it more comfortable, just call it 'cat bath'."

"He's currently unavailable. Would you care to wait?"

Dental records help ID the body. That's how they know who to bill.