Crime Satire Fan Gifts

'Ok! Hand over that placenta!'

Old Bag Snatcher.

"This tune goes out to anyone I may have mugged, robbed or held up over the years..."

Ram raiders, "Are you sure you've done this before Kevin?"

"Okay. Plan B. We shave our moustaches, kill some hobos & steal their identities, then live off the fat of the land."

'Hey! You've forgotten THIS monstrosity!'

Couple standing near a broken sign that says 'This is a Neighbourhood Watch Area' - the man is saying "Someone's nicked the lamppost!"

'Someone nicked them last night.'

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'

'If you help me with my homework, mister, I won't help the cops with theirs!'

Ethical Bank Raid

'You're trying too hard. That just scares them off.'

"We've come a long way since the me-and-now society."

'A cashier's cheque for $408. Made out to the Internal Revenue Service.'

Street Mugger.

Woman Cartoon character:'Please FRANK, just do as he says and give him your Wallet! He has a Rubber!'

"It's a HO.. HO.. HOLD-UP!"

'This is a money order!'

'Give me all your money and half a dozen cream puffs!'

Selfie with a body in the trunk.

'First off, your average Paolozzi has far fewer holes than your Moore.'

Hold Up.

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

"It's all there. And because of the pressure to conform to social norms I've included a 20% tip."

"Keep what's inside. Just hand over the purse."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'Not much cop are you!'

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'