Crime Scene Satire Fan Gifts

"He's currently unavailable. Would you care to wait?"

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

Robber on treadmill

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'Yeah, forensics tested the carpet sample and found something alright - but it wasn't blood,,, Any guess what it might have been, Mr McGruff'

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

"It was passed from my grandfather to my father, from my father to me, and now from me to you. Twenty bucks."

"You mean to say, Mr. 'Smiles,' that someone else left the scene wearing size 22 shoes?"

Mafia machine gun case.

'First off, your average Paolozzi has far fewer holes than your Moore.'

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

Money Launderette

'And what do you do?'

Police Picket Line - Do Not Cross.

Incriminating Evidence Against the Cat Burglar.

Prison Vacation For Mafiosi

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

'The body? In the mystery section, of course.'

'Armed robbery, eh? I'm in for being out of compliance with a Federal guideline

"I think it was done with mirrors."

'Ah, the old good cop, bad cop routine, eh!'

"Did any of these guys sell you the acid?"

'The fellow must have a pace maker because he collapsed when I fired the garage door opener at him.'

'The bailiffs took my car away yesterday, and I didn't even have a chance to siphon out the petrol.'

How ghastly! He's holding his knife like a pen!

Police crime scene.

'It was at this recycling plant that what began as a smash-and-grab, soon descended into a blood-bath.'

'Illegal immigrant.'

"Ooh, are those Reese's Pieces?"

"Just pick out the one who ate your husband."

'Whoever said 'dressed to kill' hasn't seen your average murderer.'

'There you go again - laying down the law.'