Comedic Crime Scene Fan Gifts

"It appears the water pressue on the bidet misfired and she blew up like a pufferfish..."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

Cat Burglar

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

Minority Report

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

Robber on treadmill

The evidence destroyed

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

Moses as a mobster.

"Apparently we have an informant in our midst."

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

'Not much cop are you!'

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'