Comedic Crime Enthusiast Gifts

"But on the other hand..."

'We've searched the whole house, and there's still no sign of the evidence. To be honest, I'm starting to think we've got the wrong guy.'

These are really cool! I'm taking them off you!

"You can be whatever you want to be when you grow, thanks to identity theft."

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

'Not much cop are you!'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

Police Lineup Escape

"One crime on this island and everyone's a suspect!"

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

'OK, give him the money but we'll need to hold onto the gun as collateral.'

'I'm hoping to get into Crime Sprees.'

'I'm in for identity theft, I stole it off someone who was wanted for murder.'

Pinata Crime Scene Investigation.

"Honestly, guys, my check is in the mail."

For the last time, officer, I'm absolutely, positively sure it was number four.

"For a masked intruder, you seem to know your way around the house."

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

Decision on the flip of a coin...

'Okay, I'll give you the money, but this could negatively affect your credit rating.'

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'