Comedic Crime Lover Gifts

Pinata Crime Scene Investigation.

He had a long record. Mostly petty crime.

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

Newton's Law and Order.

'Not much cop are you!'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

"One crime on this island and everyone's a suspect!"

Police Lineup Escape

"You're under arrest for an attempted murder."

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

Parachuting with Concrete Shoes

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

'OK, give him the money but we'll need to hold onto the gun as collateral.'

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

"Law & Order: Museum Guards."