Comedic Crime Enthusiast T-Shirts

"But on the other hand..."

'We've searched the whole house, and there's still no sign of the evidence. To be honest, I'm starting to think we've got the wrong guy.'

These are really cool! I'm taking them off you!

"You can be whatever you want to be when you grow, thanks to identity theft."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

'Not much cop are you!'

Police Lineup Escape

"One crime on this island and everyone's a suspect!"

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

"Honestly, guys, my check is in the mail."

"For a masked intruder, you seem to know your way around the house."

'OK, give him the money but we'll need to hold onto the gun as collateral.'

'I'm in for identity theft, I stole it off someone who was wanted for murder.'

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

Pinata Crime Scene Investigation.

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

'I'm hoping to get into Crime Sprees.'

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

Decision on the flip of a coin...

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

'Okay, I'll give you the money, but this could negatively affect your credit rating.'

The Codfather.

New York City, the Bronx, and another successful Vice Squad raid comes to wraps (real vices used for arresting criminals).