Comedic Crime Aficionado T-Shirts

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

'Watch out, he's an eclectic eel!'

The Elliot Ness monster.

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

'Try to think of this as a learning experience.'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'Not much cop are you!'

'Make it look like an accident.'

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

Police Lineup Escape

"One crime on this island and everyone's a suspect!"

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

"Remember - this meeting never happened, we never met, and you never wore that tie with that jacket."

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

"Rehearsal's off! Our first violinist was apprehended early this morning poaching clams in Great South Bay! The authorities have confiscated her rake and long tongs!"

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

'I'm in for identity theft, I stole it off someone who was wanted for murder.'

"I'm going out for beef chow mein - want anything?"

"For a masked intruder, you seem to know your way around the house."