Comedic Crime Scene Fan T-Shirts

"It appears the water pressue on the bidet misfired and she blew up like a pufferfish..."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

Cat Burglar

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

The evidence destroyed

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

'Not much cop are you!'

"Apparently we have an informant in our midst."

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

Moses as a mobster.

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'