Whimsical Crime Fan Gifts

'Yes, it was number 4, I'm positive,'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

Cat Burglar

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

Minority Report

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

The evidence destroyed

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

"Apparently we have an informant in our midst."

'Not much cop are you!'

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

Moses as a mobster.

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

'We find the defendant guilty. I mean, why else would he go out and hire the best lawyer in town?'