Quirky Crime Fan Gifts

Mugger Awaits Pizza Boy With Rolling Pizza Cutter

"Police Dept Agnes 153216 Disorderly Pecking" "Police Dept Agnes 153216 Disorderly Pecking" "Police Dept Bucky 141338 Burglary, Wooden Leg" "Police Dept Bucky 141338 Burglary, Wooden Leg"

'Mr. Clark, if you ever want to have a bath with your favourite rubber duck again, we want two loaves of fresh white bread! And don't even think of calling the cops!'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Cat Burglar

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

The evidence destroyed

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

Crime in bookshop

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

Oliver Twist - Oliver Introduced to Fagin

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

Moses as a mobster.

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

'We find the defendant guilty. I mean, why else would he go out and hire the best lawyer in town?'

"Oh come on! How can you possibly know that it's Yorick without a proper forensic reconstruction?"

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

Stand and Deliver

A spy

Diary of a DNA Cop

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."