Quirky Crime Fanatic Gifts

"Sir, the William Tell burglar has struck again!"

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

Gangster's To-Do List

Ignorance of the Law

'Make it look like an accident.'

'Was Monty the culprit? Had he fixed a horse race? He couldn't remember.'

A convict escaping during the press scrum

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."

Exposed and imprisoned.

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.

"Don't worry, honey. This is just for our murder podcast."

Animals have broken into (and out of) Norm's home through window.

Gullboy and Pigeonman

"I found out the hard way what a short hop it is from 'Seize the Day' to 'Seize the Money!'"

'You've not been involved with money laundering before have you Joe!'

'Have you found a precedent? Yes, you did the same crime in 1974.'

'I'll be happy to provide a blood sample but it won't be mine.'

"I'm going out for beef chow mein - want anything?"

"It's a puzzling case, Watson. For all I know, the culprit could be staring me right in the face."

You know retail is in a bad way when...

"Little Timmy is big enough to use you burglary tools."

"They're gaining on us - start throwing the doughnuts."

'Brilliant writing, Mr. Fenswick, but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on your 'How to Commit the Perfect Crime'!'

Police are searching for a male between 16 and 25 years, with a silky sheer taupe complexion and a run over his left eye.