Quirky Crime Comic Fan Gifts

De Luxe Outfit for the Cat Burglar

Horse draws a baby carriage.

"Why so grim, handsome?"

Kidnapping Lord Haw-Haw

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

Barber does skinhead's haircut with a lawn mower.

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

You'd think I'd learn after four dates, but I keep running back to her.

Top Secret Files

'I finally got my pouch pierced.'

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'

'We now have a drug to cure 'writer's block' but a common side effect is plagiaism.'

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

How Guinea Pigs are made.

The world is my oyster and I'm allergic to shellfish.

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

"I won't need a doggie bag."

'I'm afraid that I'm going to wind up an old maid!'

Now, remember, when you prepare your taxes this year, you'll want to use our new E-Z Armed Robbery Income Form.

Used restroom but didn't buy anything!

"I don't have any yet. We just opened."

The eyebrow come over and the nose hair mustache.

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

"You're going to have to give up screwing around."

"You know, Joe, like you I was tired of cutting my own meat, but my life has changed now that I've trained this panda to be my slave."

'Hello, Stranger. Hello' even Stranger.'

'It's two in the morning. Are you mad or something?'

"We've ruled out Islamophobia and Homophobia. Let's turn to food phobias. How do you feel about Tilapia?"

"Police Dept Agnes 153216 Disorderly Pecking" "Police Dept Agnes 153216 Disorderly Pecking" "Police Dept Bucky 141338 Burglary, Wooden Leg" "Police Dept Bucky 141338 Burglary, Wooden Leg"

"It may help as part of your weight loss campaign...but it's a little extreme"

Look....I'm complicated!

Lesser-known phases of the moon. Hey! Rebellious. Why does earth keep staring at me? Awkward. Shy. Immature.

Police crime scene.