Quirky Comics Fan Gifts

'We're early for the meeting...bet you five bucks the door is still locked.'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"Up, down or bite your face off?"

The world is my oyster and I'm allergic to shellfish.

"You know, Joe, like you I was tired of cutting my own meat, but my life has changed now that I've trained this panda to be my slave."

Thinking With Your Butt.

"I don't think we can approve you for homeschooling your child based on the fact that you signed your application with an 'X'."

'Hello, Stranger. Hello' even Stranger.'

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

Social Distancing Club

"Do you do much walking?"

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

'It's one of the candidates for baptism. Wants to know if he can hold the hand that shook Elvis's hand above the water.'

Horse draws a baby carriage.

It's A Breeze

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

"You finished with your peanuts?"

Kidnapping Lord Haw-Haw

21st century fish, evolving or mutant?

"I think he just ashed on me."

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

Nick Offerman

"Who are These People?"

You'd think I'd learn after four dates, but I keep running back to her.

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

'You know what I miss most - hugging!'

Barber does skinhead's haircut with a lawn mower.

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

'I hope you don't mind, dear — I got my ears pierced.'

Great, the skeletons of all the other cartoon characters who were here before us.

"So who else is gonna be there?"