Quirky Comic Aficionado Gifts

"Just so you know: If this elevator breaks down, I have no problem cannibalizing your body for my survival."

Too Much Information Counter

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

'Not only do we have no natural enemies we have no natural friends.'

Horse draws a baby carriage.

My Spam Sketchbook

"Is the garbage fresh?"

It's A Breeze

"I think he just ashed on me."

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

"The usual."

Kidnapping Lord Haw-Haw

21st century fish, evolving or mutant?

Barber does skinhead's haircut with a lawn mower.

Top Secret Files

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

'Have you been feeding him cat food again?'

Cat art exhibition.

'...and I also feel guilty for smelling up your office.'

'I finally got my pouch pierced.'

'Going up?'

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

Early days in the cloning lab.

Jim Jr. never felt like he fit in with the rest of his family.