Police Satire Fan Gifts

'There you go again - laying down the law.'

'Illegal immigrant.'

Police Picket Line - Do Not Cross.

"Be sure to have your body cams on."

CHANNEL THIRTEEN TAKES ON THE NETWORKS

"So then how do you explain trigonometry, tough guy!"

"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

'I'll be happy to provide a blood sample but it won't be mine.'

Excessive Paperwork

'Asking for a lawyer was a good move. You can't outsmart the cops by yourself.' (Lawyer is a puppet being operated by policeman).

'You got a search warrant?'

'I wish I could do Search and Rescue too: When you're a Police Dog, the people you find don't actually want to be found...'

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

"No. 3 step forward and whine, 'Please, Mom, I'm forty-four years old—I can tie my own tie.'"

'First off, your average Paolozzi has far fewer holes than your Moore.'

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

The Automatic Policeman

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

Crooks

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

'Relax, he's just doing his job. Try not to bite his head off.'

'Is he expecting you?'

'Even my three year old doesn't believe in that last one.'

"Your new recruit's bicycle is ready, commander."

"There might have been some carelessness on my part, but it was mostly just good police work."