Police Humor Fans Gifts

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"

The hostage rescue team

Excessive Paperwork

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

For the last time, officer, I'm absolutely, positively sure it was number four.

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

Messing Up My Metrics

"Next time you rob a bank, don't stick around to take a bunch of selfies with the money."

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

Oh, sorry, I didn

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

Police Picket Line - Do Not Cross.

'He had it coming..He said my mother had an arse like the back of a cart horse!'

Okay, knock it off. I'm not falling for the old "good fish, bad fish" routine.

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

"Your new recruit's bicycle is ready, commander."

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

'Illegal immigrant.'

Police dancing behind line - titled 'Police Line Dancing'.

'There you go again - laying down the law.'

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"Be sure to have your body cams on."

"Avon calling..!"

"Come on out, Rocco. We know you're in there."

Christmas Police

Police Warning - Flash photography can seriously damage your driving licence.

"I'll have the good cocktail." "I'll have the bad cocktail."

Policemen

Good Cop, Bad Cop, Lousy Cop

Lineup

'OK - Spread em.'