Police Humor Aficionado Gifts

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

Christmas Police

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

Excessive Paperwork

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

Police dancing behind line - titled 'Police Line Dancing'.

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!"

'Good cop - bad cop is enough. We don't need morally ambiguous cop.'

'You've been with the canine unit too long Ralph!'

'I'm not a bad driver, they're bad pedestrians.'

"Avon calling..!"

"Come on out, Rocco. We know you're in there."

Police Warning - Flash photography can seriously damage your driving licence.

'Here you are, Healy. Along with your badge you get a list of the area's donut shops.'

"I'll have the good cocktail." "I'll have the bad cocktail."

Don't Walk - "They Buddy, can't you read!"

'Finished your beat already, Mackay?!' 'Aye, Sarge. We found a short cut.'

Good Cop, Bad Cop, Lousy Cop

'OK - Spread em.'

Police Strike - 'Shall we beat ourselves up?'

'Does your dog bite?' 'Oh, please, please, please, boss, let me handle this one!'

'We going to move to a smaller base.'

"Hey stupid - come over here.'

"May I speak freely?"

'Anything you say will be taken down and may be used as evidence of my overtime.'