Police Humor Aficionado Pillows

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

Christmas Police

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

Excessive Paperwork

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

For the last time, officer, I'm absolutely, positively sure it was number four.

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

Containment Cops

Messing Up My Metrics

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

Oh, sorry, I didn

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

Okay, knock it off. I'm not falling for the old "good fish, bad fish" routine.

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

Police dancing behind line - titled 'Police Line Dancing'.

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!"

'Good cop - bad cop is enough. We don't need morally ambiguous cop.'

'Here you are, Healy. Along with your badge you get a list of the area's donut shops.'

"I'll have the good cocktail." "I'll have the bad cocktail."

"Avon calling..!"

"Come on out, Rocco. We know you're in there."

'I'm not a bad driver, they're bad pedestrians.'

Police Warning - Flash photography can seriously damage your driving licence.

'You've been with the canine unit too long Ralph!'

Don't Walk - "They Buddy, can't you read!"

Good Cop, Bad Cop, Lousy Cop

'OK - Spread em.'

Police Strike - 'Shall we beat ourselves up?'

'Finished your beat already, Mackay?!' 'Aye, Sarge. We found a short cut.'

'Does your dog bite?' 'Oh, please, please, please, boss, let me handle this one!'