Police Humor Lover Pillows

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!"

'Finished your beat already, Mackay?!' 'Aye, Sarge. We found a short cut.'

'We going to move to a smaller base.'

"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

Excessive Paperwork

'Asking for a lawyer was a good move. You can't outsmart the cops by yourself.' (Lawyer is a puppet being operated by policeman).

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

'Donut shop is down the hall to your right - and I'm not answering any more questions without my lawyer present.'

The Automatic Policeman

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

'He had it coming..He said my mother had an arse like the back of a cart horse!'

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

"It's a disaster Sir: most new recruits suffer from some kind of ADHD or phone addiction and can't follow a trail for more than 30 seconds..."

Police dancing behind line - titled 'Police Line Dancing'.

'Even my three year old doesn't believe in that last one.'

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

Christmas Police

"I'll have the good cocktail." "I'll have the bad cocktail."

'Just showing him how much taller he needs to be to join your lot!'

'Okay, sit there. . . but give me the keys.'

'I'm not a bad driver, they're bad pedestrians.'

Police Warning - Flash photography can seriously damage your driving licence.

"Avon calling..!"

"Come on out, Rocco. We know you're in there."

Policemen

Don't Walk - "They Buddy, can't you read!"

Good Cop, Bad Cop, Lousy Cop

"Why do you keep saying I have the right to remain silent."

'OK - Spread em.'

'Does your dog bite?' 'Oh, please, please, please, boss, let me handle this one!'