Police Parody Lover Pillows

'Hold it right there, copper! -- One step closer and I play 'Lady of Spain'!'

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

CHANNEL THIRTEEN TAKES ON THE NETWORKS

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

Excessive Paperwork

'Asking for a lawyer was a good move. You can't outsmart the cops by yourself.' (Lawyer is a puppet being operated by policeman).

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

'Donut shop is down the hall to your right - and I'm not answering any more questions without my lawyer present.'

The Automatic Policeman

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

'He had it coming..He said my mother had an arse like the back of a cart horse!'

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

'Mob audition'

'I know you're up ther, Barratt...'

"Your new recruit's bicycle is ready, commander."

"It's a disaster Sir: most new recruits suffer from some kind of ADHD or phone addiction and can't follow a trail for more than 30 seconds..."

Tunnel of Love

Police dancing behind line - titled 'Police Line Dancing'.

'Even my three year old doesn't believe in that last one.'

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!"

'Just showing him how much taller he needs to be to join your lot!'

'Hi, I'm ringing on behalf of your husband. He's been held up.'

Christmas Police

'Coo, ta, nothing! Hand it back at once!'

"Avon calling..!"

Policemen

'Okay, sit there. . . but give me the keys.'

"I'll have the good cocktail." "I'll have the bad cocktail."

Lineup