Police Parody Lover Pillows

'Hold it right there, copper! -- One step closer and I play 'Lady of Spain'!'

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

CHANNEL THIRTEEN TAKES ON THE NETWORKS

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

Excessive Paperwork

'Asking for a lawyer was a good move. You can't outsmart the cops by yourself.' (Lawyer is a puppet being operated by policeman).

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

The Automatic Policeman

'Donut shop is down the hall to your right - and I'm not answering any more questions without my lawyer present.'

Oh, sorry, I didn

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

Okay, knock it off. I'm not falling for the old "good fish, bad fish" routine.

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

'He had it coming..He said my mother had an arse like the back of a cart horse!'

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

'Mob audition'

Police dancing behind line - titled 'Police Line Dancing'.

'Even my three year old doesn't believe in that last one.'

'I know you're up ther, Barratt...'

"It's a disaster Sir: most new recruits suffer from some kind of ADHD or phone addiction and can't follow a trail for more than 30 seconds..."

Tunnel of Love

"Your new recruit's bicycle is ready, commander."

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!"

'Hi, I'm ringing on behalf of your husband. He's been held up.'

'Okay, sit there. . . but give me the keys.'

Christmas Police

'Just showing him how much taller he needs to be to join your lot!'

Policemen

"I'll have the good cocktail." "I'll have the bad cocktail."

"Avon calling..!"