Police Humorist Gifts

"May I speak freely?"

'And what makes you think you're being followed?'

Police Warning - Flash photography can seriously damage your driving licence.

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

Sweet Jailbreak

Stun-gun target practice.

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

Rollercoaster police chase.

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

One lobster has another in hand cuffs.

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

Police dancing behind line - titled 'Police Line Dancing'.

"Good job, inspector! Today you made the suspect dance and tomorrow you'll make him sing!"

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

Hair Spray / CS Gas.

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"You were doing 10 knots over the limit."

"Avon calling..!"

'You've been with the canine unit too long Ralph!'

Christmas Police

"I'll have the good cocktail." "I'll have the bad cocktail."