Cop Humorist Gifts

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

The Mafia Goes Green.

Projection

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

Sweet Jailbreak

"I'm investigating the theft of a breadcrumb by an ant matching your description."

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

Stun-gun target practice.

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

Messing Up My Metrics

"We're all metric now..."

Rollercoaster police chase.

Containment Cops

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

'Hello, Mum!'

One lobster has another in hand cuffs.

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

Piñata police line-up.

'Donut shop is down the hall to your right - and I'm not answering any more questions without my lawyer present.'

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

Cuffwear, 2004

Oh, sorry, I didn

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

It slowly became apparent that the police interpretive dance artist was less effective than the police sketch artist.

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

Police artist drawing a snarling dog while an injured cat desribes him

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

'Just your credit cards. I don't feel safe carrying cash these days.'

'Good cop - bad cop is enough. We don't need morally ambiguous cop.'