Future Cop Humorist Gifts

"I guess a driverless patrol car is okay, but can you back me up if we get into trouble?"

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

The Mafia Goes Green.

Projection

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

"I'm investigating the theft of a breadcrumb by an ant matching your description."

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

Sweet Jailbreak

One lobster has another in hand cuffs.

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

"We're all metric now..."

Messing Up My Metrics

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

Rollercoaster police chase.

Containment Cops

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

'Hello, Mum!'

'Donut shop is down the hall to your right - and I'm not answering any more questions without my lawyer present.'

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

It slowly became apparent that the police interpretive dance artist was less effective than the police sketch artist.

Cuffwear, 2004

"Very well done, Samuels. But next time, don't forget your handcuffs."

Oh, sorry, I didn

"Over here, doofus."

'Relax - we'll blame it on Curiosity.'

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

Police artist drawing a snarling dog while an injured cat desribes him

"He's chasing his dreams."

'Number three. Definitely number three.'