Police-themed Humorists Gifts

Messing Up My Metrics

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

Excessive Paperwork

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

Sweet Jailbreak

Stun-gun target practice.

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

Rollercoaster police chase.

'Hello, Mum!'

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

One lobster has another in hand cuffs.

Piñata police line-up.

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

It slowly became apparent that the police interpretive dance artist was less effective than the police sketch artist.

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

Oh, sorry, I didn

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

Police dancing behind line - titled 'Police Line Dancing'.

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Hair Spray / CS Gas.

"I'll have the good cocktail." "I'll have the bad cocktail."

"Avon calling..!"

"You were doing 10 knots over the limit."

'You've been with the canine unit too long Ralph!'

Police Warning - Flash photography can seriously damage your driving licence.

Christmas Police