Police-themed Humor Gifts

Man walking past a policeman. He noticed pig hooves coming out the bottom of the policeman's pants.

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

Projection

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

Sweet Jailbreak

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

Stun-gun target practice.

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

Rollercoaster police chase.

Messing Up My Metrics

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

One lobster has another in hand cuffs.

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

Piñata police line-up.

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

It slowly became apparent that the police interpretive dance artist was less effective than the police sketch artist.

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

Oh, sorry, I didn

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

"Good job, inspector! Today you made the suspect dance and tomorrow you'll make him sing!"

Police dancing behind line - titled 'Police Line Dancing'.

'No thanks, I don't except suites from neighbours.'

Hair Spray / CS Gas.

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"I'll have the good cocktail." "I'll have the bad cocktail."

Harry 'Halitosis' Thribbs - do not approach this man.

"You were doing 10 knots over the limit."

Police Warning - Flash photography can seriously damage your driving licence.

'Clearly every one of these suspects has stolen my identity.'