Police-themed Humor Gifts

Man walking past a policeman. He noticed pig hooves coming out the bottom of the policeman's pants.

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

Sweet Jailbreak

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

Stun-gun target practice.

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

One lobster has another in hand cuffs.

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

Rollercoaster police chase.

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

Police dancing behind line - titled 'Police Line Dancing'.

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

"Good job, inspector! Today you made the suspect dance and tomorrow you'll make him sing!"

'No thanks, I don't except suites from neighbours.'

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Hair Spray / CS Gas.

"Avon calling..!"

"You were doing 10 knots over the limit."

Police Warning - Flash photography can seriously damage your driving licence.

Harry 'Halitosis' Thribbs - do not approach this man.

Christmas Police

"I'll have the good cocktail." "I'll have the bad cocktail."