Police Satire Gifts

'And what makes you think you're being followed?'

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Excessive Paperwork

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

'Asking for a lawyer was a good move. You can't outsmart the cops by yourself.' (Lawyer is a puppet being operated by policeman).

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

"It was passed from my grandfather to my father, from my father to me, and now from me to you. Twenty bucks."

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

Mafia machine gun case.

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

Money Launderette

The Automatic Policeman

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

Crooks

Prison Vacation For Mafiosi

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

Police Picket Line - Do Not Cross.

Smelly mugger unfazed by victims CS Gas

'Armed robbery, eh? I'm in for being out of compliance with a Federal guideline

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

Tunnel of Love

'Even my three year old doesn't believe in that last one.'

"OK, since you have a medical card the cat nip is legal, but I'm going to be watching you."

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

'Illegal immigrant.'

'There you go again - laying down the law.'

"Avon calling..!"

'May I see some photo ID?'

Murder Village - Bursts of street fighting every half hour