Police Satire Gifts

'And what makes you think you're being followed?'

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Excessive Paperwork

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

'Asking for a lawyer was a good move. You can't outsmart the cops by yourself.' (Lawyer is a puppet being operated by policeman).

"It was passed from my grandfather to my father, from my father to me, and now from me to you. Twenty bucks."

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

Mafia machine gun case.

Messing Up My Metrics

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

Money Launderette

The Automatic Policeman

Smelly mugger unfazed by victims CS Gas

My guys will loot, Bjorn's guys will pillage and your guys will make it all legal.

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

Okay, knock it off. I'm not falling for the old "good fish, bad fish" routine.

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

Oh, sorry, I didn

Police Picket Line - Do Not Cross.

Crooks

Prison Vacation For Mafiosi

'Armed robbery, eh? I'm in for being out of compliance with a Federal guideline

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

Tunnel of Love

'Illegal immigrant.'

'There you go again - laying down the law.'

"OK, since you have a medical card the cat nip is legal, but I'm going to be watching you."

'Even my three year old doesn't believe in that last one.'

"Just pick out the one who ate your husband."

"Avon calling..!"

'May I see some photo ID?'