Law Enforcement Satire Gifts

"Don't taser me, Bro!!! Does he know we're Mall Cops?"

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

Excessive Paperwork

For the last time, officer, I'm absolutely, positively sure it was number four.

Sweet Jailbreak

'Asking for a lawyer was a good move. You can't outsmart the cops by yourself.' (Lawyer is a puppet being operated by policeman).

Stun-gun target practice.

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

Messing Up My Metrics

Rollercoaster police chase.

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

One lobster has another in hand cuffs.

Piñata police line-up.

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

The Automatic Policeman

It slowly became apparent that the police interpretive dance artist was less effective than the police sketch artist.

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

Okay, knock it off. I'm not falling for the old "good fish, bad fish" routine.

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

Crooks

'Even my three year old doesn't believe in that last one.'

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

"Good job, inspector! Today you made the suspect dance and tomorrow you'll make him sing!"

"OK, since you have a medical card the cat nip is legal, but I'm going to be watching you."

Hair Spray / CS Gas.

"You were doing 10 knots over the limit."

'I ran a computer check on you. If you'll give me the phone number of that cute babe Diane on your MySpace site, I'll let you off with just a warning.'

"You have the right to remain silent – but, it would be helpful to know what you think."

Police car bumper sticker: 'Honk if you want a traffic ticket'.

Good Cop, Bad Cop Parking Space

"I better approach this one really carefully."

"I guess a driverless patrol car is okay, but can you back me up if we get into trouble?"