Policing Satire Gifts

Crooks

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Excessive Paperwork

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

'Asking for a lawyer was a good move. You can't outsmart the cops by yourself.' (Lawyer is a puppet being operated by policeman).

"It was passed from my grandfather to my father, from my father to me, and now from me to you. Twenty bucks."

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

Mafia machine gun case.

The Automatic Policeman

Money Launderette

Police Picket Line - Do Not Cross.

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

Smelly mugger unfazed by victims CS Gas

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

Prison Vacation For Mafiosi

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

'Armed robbery, eh? I'm in for being out of compliance with a Federal guideline

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

'Illegal immigrant.'

Tunnel of Love

'There you go again - laying down the law.'

"OK, since you have a medical card the cat nip is legal, but I'm going to be watching you."

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

'Even my three year old doesn't believe in that last one.'

"Hold on - I'll call in an air strike."

Police Warning - Flash photography can seriously damage your driving licence.

Christmas Police