Police Satire Aficionado Gifts

Okay, knock it off. I'm not falling for the old "good fish, bad fish" routine.

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

'I'm in the not-so-serious crime squad, actually'

Excessive Paperwork

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

'Asking for a lawyer was a good move. You can't outsmart the cops by yourself.' (Lawyer is a puppet being operated by policeman).

"It was passed from my grandfather to my father, from my father to me, and now from me to you. Twenty bucks."

Might Versus Right.

Mafia machine gun case.

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

The Automatic Policeman

Money Launderette

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

Oh, sorry, I didn

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

Police Picket Line - Do Not Cross.

Prison Vacation For Mafiosi

Crooks

'Ah, the old up-phase bipolar cop, down-phase bipolar cop routine, eh?'

"So, where's the fire? And brimstone?"

'We know you're in there Bannerwitz! Now open the dam door!!'

'Armed robbery, eh? I'm in for being out of compliance with a Federal guideline

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

"Did any of these guys sell you the acid?"

Police dancing behind line - titled 'Police Line Dancing'.

'There you go again - laying down the law.'

"OK, since you have a medical card the cat nip is legal, but I'm going to be watching you."

'Illegal immigrant.'

'Even my three year old doesn't believe in that last one.'

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!"