Police Satire Aficionado Gifts

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

'I'm in the not-so-serious crime squad, actually'

Excessive Paperwork

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

'Asking for a lawyer was a good move. You can't outsmart the cops by yourself.' (Lawyer is a puppet being operated by policeman).

"It was passed from my grandfather to my father, from my father to me, and now from me to you. Twenty bucks."

Mafia machine gun case.

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

Might Versus Right.

Money Launderette

The Automatic Policeman

Police Picket Line - Do Not Cross.

'Ah, the old up-phase bipolar cop, down-phase bipolar cop routine, eh?'

"So, where's the fire? And brimstone?"

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

Crooks

Prison Vacation For Mafiosi

'We know you're in there Bannerwitz! Now open the dam door!!'

'Armed robbery, eh? I'm in for being out of compliance with a Federal guideline

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

"Did any of these guys sell you the acid?"

'There you go again - laying down the law.'

Police dancing behind line - titled 'Police Line Dancing'.

"OK, since you have a medical card the cat nip is legal, but I'm going to be watching you."

'Even my three year old doesn't believe in that last one.'

'Illegal immigrant.'

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Police Warning - Flash photography can seriously damage your driving licence.

'May I see some photo ID?'