Police Comedy Enthusiasts Gifts

'This is your third speeding fine this week. You are banned from the store.'

"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

Excessive Paperwork

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

"Honestly, guys, my check is in the mail."

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

Containment Cops

Messing Up My Metrics

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

Oh, sorry, I didn

Okay, knock it off. I'm not falling for the old "good fish, bad fish" routine.

'He had it coming..He said my mother had an arse like the back of a cart horse!'

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

"Well, if you find it more comfortable, just call it 'cat bath'."

"Your new recruit's bicycle is ready, commander."

'Say fells,-you don't have it in BROWN do you?'

Police dancing behind line - titled 'Police Line Dancing'.

"I don't think we're supposed to taser people who park on double yellow lines."

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!"

'Good cop - bad cop is enough. We don't need morally ambiguous cop.'

Police Warning - Flash photography can seriously damage your driving licence.

"I'll have the good cocktail." "I'll have the bad cocktail."

'You've been with the canine unit too long Ralph!'

"Come on out, Rocco. We know you're in there."

'The one in the middle is kind of cute!'

"By the way, this guy behind me with his fist up my crack has nuthin' to do with this."

Christmas Police

"Avon calling..!"