Police Comedy Fans Gifts

Police cost cutting measures

"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

The hostage rescue team

Excessive Paperwork

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

"Honestly, guys, my check is in the mail."

"Next time you rob a bank, don't stick around to take a bunch of selfies with the money."

Containment Cops

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

Messing Up My Metrics

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

"Money or your beard!"

Louie 'The Egg' Spignoli, The Hangman's Nightmare

"When you're ready, please try to identify who it is that you think you saw in your home in the early hours of last Easter."

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

Oh, sorry, I didn

Police Picket Line - Do Not Cross.

'BAD DOG!'

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

'So how do you like the new job?' - 'Not bad, better than walking the streets.'

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

"Are any of these the perpetrator?"

'He had it coming..He said my mother had an arse like the back of a cart horse!'

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

Heisenberg Witness Protection Program

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?' 'Why can't it be both?'

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

'Illegal immigrant.'

'There you go again - laying down the law.'

'Say fells,-you don't have it in BROWN do you?'

"Your new recruit's bicycle is ready, commander."

"Well, if you find it more comfortable, just call it 'cat bath'."

Police dancing behind line - titled 'Police Line Dancing'.

"I've rented the extra room to an escaped convict - maybe you know him."