Police Story Fan Gifts

'Just your credit cards. I don't feel safe carrying cash these days.'

Mugshot selfie stick

'Relax, he's just doing his job. Try not to bite his head off.'

"The old 'good cop, indifferent cop' routine."

N.Y.P.D. Good Cop/Bad Cop

They caught him pandaring

'Very sad...he was a sniffer for the MET.'

"A scythe? Why would anyone steal a scythe?"

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Cat Burglar

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

The evidence destroyed

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

Moses as a mobster.

"So then how do you explain trigonometry, tough guy!"

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"He did it!"

"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."