Fan Of Police Stories Gifts

'It was awfully good of you to let him go - but that's not how the good cop, bad cop routine works.'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

Cat Burglar

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

The evidence destroyed

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

Fish mobsters.

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

The Ballad of the Lavender Dot - Part Three