Police Story Enthusiast Gifts

"Hey, let's mix it up a bit today and have you be the bad cop."

'He was never the sharpest knife in the drawer - if you'll excuse the expression.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

Benjamin Bunny re-writes Beatrix Potter

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

"I almost got away with it! Then somebody called in the SWAT team!"

'It's Yorick all right - I know his DNA well.'

Fake Counterfeit Money

"Me? A retired canine officer. They let me go when they found out I couldn't smell fear any more."

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"Your Honor, I wish to introduce as Exhibit A this bullet with the victim's name on it."

'I'm in the not-so-serious crime squad, actually'

'...Just goes to show you, you can't trust anyone.'

'Same tragic story...A disgruntled athletic trainer burst into the locker room and starts taping players at random...'

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

Why did the chicken cross the mafia