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"Hey, let's mix it up a bit today and have you be the bad cop."

'He was never the sharpest knife in the drawer - if you'll excuse the expression.'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

Benjamin Bunny re-writes Beatrix Potter

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

The Ballad of the Lavender Dot - Part Three

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

Fish mobsters.

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

"Your Honor, I wish to introduce as Exhibit A this bullet with the victim's name on it."

"I almost got away with it! Then somebody called in the SWAT team!"

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

Al Pacino

'It's Yorick all right - I know his DNA well.'

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

Fake Counterfeit Money

"Sorry, Boss, I thought you wanted me to make it look like an accident."

"Me? A retired canine officer. They let me go when they found out I couldn't smell fear any more."

'I'm in the not-so-serious crime squad, actually'

'...Just goes to show you, you can't trust anyone.'

'Same tragic story...A disgruntled athletic trainer burst into the locker room and starts taping players at random...'