Pedigree Punsters Gifts

The adorably cute Labradoor (A dog in the shape of a door)

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

Tequila Mockingbird

"I'll carve the wheels, you'll sell them, and Oog, here, can be customer service."

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

'... And as soon as it's discovered, don't play with fire!'

"Look - I've just invented the spade!..."

A dog reads a newspaper

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

Hamlet.

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

"I don't get it, Susan... I've been an obstetrician for 20 years and I've never had a baby named after me!"

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Large Hadron Colliider-scope

'Nice try, Billy, but dogma is not a puppy's mother!'

Sign On Door of Dept. Of Neanderthal Literature - Out Eat Back.

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

'My broker swears it's a great investment but I fear it's just another pyramid scheme.'

"Seats in all parts!"

Industrial Disputes: the Early Years

'Play dead.'

Where's Slinky going? To Florida, for spring training.

Fart. Le Poot.

"Up here, we call it 'Nectar of the Gods' not 'Devil's Brew'!"

"Jack Russell?"

Happy Hour 5-6, but don't read a lot into it.

-I once dreamed about carrots and peas,and then bet on two horses the next day called carrots and peas. Guess who won? -Who? -An outsider called mixed vegetables.

"Yes, I know I only caught a lizard - it's called artistic license, Mildred!"

"I wish she's take us. She shops at the 99 scent store!"