Parish Punsters Gifts

"Seats in all parts!"

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

Sick Rancher Humor

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

Chicken Funeral Planning.

A dog reads a newspaper

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

'Mom, am I my brother's peeper?'

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

'Don't worry, I would never tell the other free range chickens you're agoraphobic.'

Hamlet.

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"

"What a traitor! It is supposed to be a well-guarded secret covered by a non-disclosure agreement..."

Happy Hour 5-6, but don't read a lot into it.

Headless Chicken picking out chief in a line up

"Up here, we call it 'Nectar of the Gods' not 'Devil's Brew'!"

Fart. Le Poot.

"Why are you giving them whiskey?"