Parish Punsters Gifts

"Seats in all parts!"

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

Sick Rancher Humor

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

A dog reads a newspaper

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

'Mom, am I my brother's peeper?'

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.

Hamlet.

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"

"I keep forgetting. When do I cluck and when do I double-cluck?"

Fart. Le Poot.

Headless Chicken picking out chief in a line up

"Up here, we call it 'Nectar of the Gods' not 'Devil's Brew'!"

"Why are you giving them whiskey?"

"What a traitor! It is supposed to be a well-guarded secret covered by a non-disclosure agreement..."