Holy Punsters Gifts

'Apparently so. In the opinion of the Bishop, God would be filthy rich.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

Dogs life

Tequila Mockingbird

"I'll carve the wheels, you'll sell them, and Oog, here, can be customer service."

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

'... And as soon as it's discovered, don't play with fire!'

"Look - I've just invented the spade!..."

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.

Hamlet.

'Mom, am I my brother's peeper?'

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

Sign On Door of Dept. Of Neanderthal Literature - Out Eat Back.

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"Seats in all parts!"

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

'My broker swears it's a great investment but I fear it's just another pyramid scheme.'

Industrial Disputes: the Early Years

"I wish she's take us. She shops at the 99 scent store!"

-I once dreamed about carrots and peas,and then bet on two horses the next day called carrots and peas. Guess who won? -Who? -An outsider called mixed vegetables.

Happy Hour 5-6, but don't read a lot into it.

Fart. Le Poot.

"Yes, I know I only caught a lizard - it's called artistic license, Mildred!"

'Not tonight, dear. I've got a headache.'

"Up here, we call it 'Nectar of the Gods' not 'Devil's Brew'!"

Where's Slinky going? To Florida, for spring training.

Monk at prayer, "and take care, if anything happens to you we're sunk!"

Wash and Let My People Go

Unlike other places, around here "take a load off" means "get back to work."