Heavenly Punsters Gifts

'Yeah, I tried that once.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

Tequila Mockingbird

"I'll carve the wheels, you'll sell them, and Oog, here, can be customer service."

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

"Look - I've just invented the spade!..."

'... And as soon as it's discovered, don't play with fire!'

Hamlet.

'Whoops!'

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

Sign On Door of Dept. Of Neanderthal Literature - Out Eat Back.

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

Optometrist practical jokes

"Seats in all parts!"

'My broker swears it's a great investment but I fear it's just another pyramid scheme.'

"My eyes feel heavy. Does that mean I'm taking in too much eye candy?"

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

Industrial Disputes: the Early Years

"Up here, we call it 'Nectar of the Gods' not 'Devil's Brew'!"

Fart. Le Poot.

"Yes, I know I only caught a lizard - it's called artistic license, Mildred!"

-I once dreamed about carrots and peas,and then bet on two horses the next day called carrots and peas. Guess who won? -Who? -An outsider called mixed vegetables.

"I wish she's take us. She shops at the 99 scent store!"

'Not tonight, dear. I've got a headache.'

Monk at prayer, "and take care, if anything happens to you we're sunk!"

Wash and Let My People Go

"I thought Marley said I'd be visited by three ghosts."

"Do you think there might be a bitcoin in it?"