Precious Metal Punsters Gifts

Karat Stew - 'I think it needs more bullion.'

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

Tequila Mockingbird

Note Book

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Artistic License

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

A Tongue Stud.

A dog reads a newspaper

...Isolated clumps of strange matter pop briefly out of the quantum foam to debate the possible existence of particle physicists.

Hamlet.

Large Hadron Colliider-scope

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."

'Not too serious just a couple of particles collided.'

"Up here, we call it 'Nectar of the Gods' not 'Devil's Brew'!"

Where's Slinky going? To Florida, for spring training.

"Are you any good at closing a sail."

"Jack Russell?"

"I wish she's take us. She shops at the 99 scent store!"

-I once dreamed about carrots and peas,and then bet on two horses the next day called carrots and peas. Guess who won? -Who? -An outsider called mixed vegetables.

Happy Hour 5-6, but don't read a lot into it.

Fart. Le Poot.

Two particles outside Hadron Collider; 'Fancy getting smashed this evening?'

The Stand-up Petrophysicist...

"I'm afraid you've got a serious case of polka dots."

"I thought Marley said I'd be visited by three ghosts."

Unlike other places, around here "take a load off" means "get back to work."

Math Dept. I can't move my hand to indicate "Hello" anymore. You mean your wave function has collapsed?

"Duffer, Penny, Bailey & Coco. Attorneys at Gnaw."

"Do you think there might be a bitcoin in it?"

"I blame his old careers teacher myself, it was him who suggested he did a bank job."

'Yeah, I tried that once.'

Breakfast Ideas. I fixed the cable box during this cooking show. I unscrambled the eggs!