Precious Metal Punsters Pillows

Karat Stew - 'I think it needs more bullion.'

Tequila Mockingbird

Note Book

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

A Tongue Stud.

A dog reads a newspaper

...Isolated clumps of strange matter pop briefly out of the quantum foam to debate the possible existence of particle physicists.

Hamlet.

Large Hadron Colliider-scope

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."

'Not too serious just a couple of particles collided.'

"I wish she's take us. She shops at the 99 scent store!"

-I once dreamed about carrots and peas,and then bet on two horses the next day called carrots and peas. Guess who won? -Who? -An outsider called mixed vegetables.

Fart. Le Poot.

"Up here, we call it 'Nectar of the Gods' not 'Devil's Brew'!"

Two particles outside Hadron Collider; 'Fancy getting smashed this evening?'

The Stand-up Petrophysicist...

"Are you any good at closing a sail."

"Jack Russell?"

"I thought Marley said I'd be visited by three ghosts."

"Do you think there might be a bitcoin in it?"

"Duffer, Penny, Bailey & Coco. Attorneys at Gnaw."

"I blame his old careers teacher myself, it was him who suggested he did a bank job."

'Yeah, I tried that once.'

'Well it's one way of popularising our work at CERN!'