Particle Punsters Pillows

Large Hadron Colliider-scope

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

Water is discovered on the moon....

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Pet Cemetery.

Dog Walker

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Uranus always gets a bad rap. Tap tap tap tap tap. What do you mean, dorkboy? I mean, no matter how mature people think they are, they always, always want to chuckle when they say "Uranus." Come on, Sadie. You know you want to smirk, even if it's in secret. What if I told you Uranus is slightly bigger than Neptune? Not chuckling! Uranus is always the butt of the joke.

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

A dog reads a newspaper

'We must construct our own large hadron collider so that we can obtain results that are consistent with our cultural heritage.'

Licker Store

Hamlet.

...Isolated clumps of strange matter pop briefly out of the quantum foam to debate the possible existence of particle physicists.

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

Tiny man plays big cello, huge man plays tiny violin.

'That's Princess... formerly 'Prince'.'

He's very defensive about his personal space.

'Not too serious just a couple of particles collided.'

I have a higher escape velocity than you! It has nothing to do with being clingy!

The Dark Side of the Moon.

'Remember this test, Ms. Hart? Nineteen ninety. Multiple choice. You asked which of these is not a planet, and I checked Pluto...'

"The planet appears to be inhabitable but more like low-income inhabitable."

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."

The Stand-up Petrophysicist...

"Find another place to dump that crap. This stall is occupied."