Particle Punsters Gifts

Large Hadron Colliider-scope

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

Water is discovered on the moon....

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Dog Walker

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

A dog reads a newspaper

'We must construct our own large hadron collider so that we can obtain results that are consistent with our cultural heritage.'

Hamlet.

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

...Isolated clumps of strange matter pop briefly out of the quantum foam to debate the possible existence of particle physicists.

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

Tiny man plays big cello, huge man plays tiny violin.

The Dark Side of the Moon.

'Remember this test, Ms. Hart? Nineteen ninety. Multiple choice. You asked which of these is not a planet, and I checked Pluto...'

'That's Princess... formerly 'Prince'.'

'Not too serious just a couple of particles collided.'

"The planet appears to be inhabitable but more like low-income inhabitable."

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

The Stand-up Petrophysicist...

"He's a shiitake."