Produce Punsters Gifts

F&E Produce. "Eggplant"? I'll never understand biology.

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

"Hallelujah!"

Prize vegetables with rude names.

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"It's one of the positive side effects of the new weight-loss drugs."

"I'm afraid there will be more cuts."

The vegan hunter

Hamlet.

'Don't worry, I would never tell the other free range chickens you're agoraphobic.'

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

Larry's Literary Market.

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Apple talks to banana, as pear looks on, saying: 'Look, it's hard to explain ??" you're just a funny guy, OK?'

Tiny man plays big cello, huge man plays tiny violin.

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"

Pork Sausage.

"Of course, in life he was allergic to them."

Headless Chicken picking out chief in a line up