Vegetable Punster Gifts

Prize vegetables with rude names.

Allotment

"That's it. We’re toast."

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

Frank & Ernie's Carrot, Beet, Potato Farm. Lunch break's over --- Shall we return to our roots?

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Rap-scallions

Onion Tears

Avocado Timeline

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Wordplay: Rabbit Punch.

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

"It's made with real angel hair."

"The pompano poached in parchment is very alliterative tonight."

Deviled HamDeviled Eggs.

Chicken Funeral Planning.

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

You heard right - one large cheese pizza, and tell the driver to take it out of the box and leave it in the yard,

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

"I'm afraid there will be more cuts."

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'

"Cooky was askin' about you again."